“You never realize how strong you are until being strong is the only option.” (unknown)
Life has seasons and cycles. Life has moments of transition and shifting. Life has a lot of beauty but also a fair share of unpredicted challenges. Being strong – moving with confidence and determination through whatever comes on your way - is not always easy. Yet there are times in life when being strong is the only option you have.
With 40 years under my belt, I do know first-hand what it looks like and how it feels like to have to be strong without space for hesitation. I know so well how it is when you wish you could just stay in bed hiding under your blanket, when you wish things were different, when you wish you had some answers or a roadmap, when you wish you had the energy and strength required for standing up.
Yet in that very moment, despite all these wishes, making a choice to stand up, to show up and to keep going is the right way to go, and sometimes might even be the only possible way to go. The pressure is especially high when you have little people by your side looking at you, reading you every movement for signs, seeking for confirmation that you are safe, and they are safe, and everything is or will be alright. I know how this feels. But I also know that in that exact moment, your vulnerability can give you full power – triggering and empowering your inner strength and resourcefulness way beyond your imagination.
It is in that tiny moment, between wishing things were different and taking the decision to stand up and make things different, where the best parts of your story are born. Moving creates movement, moving brings you clarity and new opportunities, moving makes you feel resourceful. Little by little you start rebuilding and recreating. And one day you look back at your journey. Proudly.
Cultivating Your Inner Strength
Inner strength is a mindset matter – a combination of confidence, determination and perseverance. Self-confidence is all about believing that you can rely on yourself throughout whatever situation shows up in your life. It is like a muscle that you can strengthen through practice. Determination is all about holding your personal truth and your vision high. It is about knowing your authentic self and your dreams. And perseverance keeps you standing up, showing up and going towards your dreams despite any hardships on the way.
Simply put, in a difficult moment of life, let your wisdom from past to nurture your self-confidence and keep showing up, keep moving. Do not forget that moving towards something has always more power than moving away from something. Make sure to re-visit your “WHY” and to nurture your life vision over and over again.
Strong People Do Cry Too
Inner strength is not the opposite of experiencing all the emotions and feelings difficult moments of life can trigger. Not at all. It is about feeling everything you have the right to as a human being, it is about crying when you need to or want. But once this part is properly explored, it is all about picking up the pieces and choosing to move on. I am pretty sure most of you can relate to the idea that sometimes we do prolong our suffering or keep feeding our victim-mode because it is the easiest choice and maybe even sort of comfortable. As long as we are in this state nobody expects much from us and we cannot fail, but as soon as we start moving, we keep putting ourselves out there again with new opportunities subject to failure. It is a bit messed up, I know!
How To Build Inner Strength In Difficult Times
My instinctive answer to this would be “hack your mind”. Working on your mindset to overcome adversities in life is surely the best way to go. Learning to find solutions with ease opposed to staying stuck in the problem-zone will most certainly help you to move on faster. My favourite mindset hacks include gratitude (relativising the weight of the negatives), focusing on what you can control, reconnecting with your resourcefulness, playing with perspectives and dwelling in possibilities (asking yourself what else is possible). (Find more inspiration from my blog post about How Your Mindset Can Help You To Turn Problems Into Possibilities).
While mindset is an important part of building your inner strength, it is something that can be developed and worked on ongoing. Yet there are few important things that can foster and support your strength and resourcefulness in times you most need:
1) Prioritising self-care – it is so easy to put yourself last, especially in a difficult moment, but trust me, it works the other way around. You have to take time for yourself – for your physical and mental health, for resting and recharging
2) Cultivating belief – believing in yourself and in your future has power. Imagination, visualisation, journalling about what you want the next season or your future to look like is a tremendous help to start moving forward and move towards something.
3) Asking help – this might not be easy for all, but it is one of the most importante pieces of the puzzle. Sharing your worries with your friends or family or asking help from a specialist (coach, therapist, business consultant etc) are both great tools for opening your horizons and speeding up your recovery.
Just keep in mind that while being strong is not always easy, it is always worth the effort. ♥ Do you remember the last time you were surprised by your own strength?
With love,
C