I had never thought about the expression “take up space” until a client of mine brought it on the table in context of hesitating to share her opinion and to speak up in her work meetings. Our session ended with my client having an insight that it is okay to share your opinions, it is okay to share you wisdom, it is okay to participate actively — it is okay to take up space.
No doubt that the more reserved, quiet or shy you are (and this I know too well from my own experience) the more difficult it is to allow yourself to take up space. It can be that you are used to following others’ expectations and opinions and holding back yours just to be diplomatic. You might try to avoid contradictions and conflicts. It can also be that you do not trust your own wisdom and opinions, therefore you try to protect yourself from failure and the judgment of others.
Whatever is the story you are telling yourself about why you should not take up space, I encourage you to challenge it. Whatever is the belief that stands behind how you feel, I encourage you to question it.
Ask yourself:
Is this true what you tell to yourself? What is the evidence supporting your story? What are the real facts? What if the opposite would be true?
What if you chose to believe that every single human being (including yourself) has gifts to give to the world. What if the story you told yourself was about how unique your experiences and wisdom are?
What if you chose to show up, take space and share your uniqueness with the world?
You might think “Uhh easier said than done!” Yes sure, while it is possible that change can follow one simple decision, this one here might take some time. Especially if you are starting off from a position and habit of holding yourself back, if not to say of being a bit shy.
But trust me, building the habit and courage to show up and to take space is like building any other habit. Start consciously working on the stories you tell yourself and on your limiting beliefs. Start taking little steps and you will see that you will discover the magic of allowing yourself to take up space sooner than you can imagine.
And while you do that, what if you helped on the way also somebody else to take up space? We all desire to be validated. What if you make somebody else to feel just a bit more comfortable and valuable just by noticing and acknowledging their importance.
What would become possible for you if today you allowed yourself to take up just a little more space..?