The First Time Imposter Syndrome Hit Me
- cleeliauudamcosta
- Jun 12
- 3 min read
Little did I know what it all was about.
About 25 years ago, at the end of my secondary school, I was invited to co-host the graduation speech for the graduation ceremony. I said no.
I said no because I felt I was not good enough for this. I said no cause I felt I did not deserve to do this.
There is no doubt that all the evidence out there supported my right to be on that stage. I had been for 12 years one of the top students. I had been numerous times standing on that stage — reading poems, leading presentations, dressing up as a character for a school play.
I was even the student chosen to represent our school at the President of Estonia’s annual reception honoring the top students from each secondary school.
But I said no. I did not feel worthy. I did not feel good enough. I was in the midst of a challenging phase, recovering from my first break-up.
My identity was shattered, and when my final exams didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, I dismissed twelve years of hard-earned achievements as if they did not exist. And I said no.
I have said no few other times for the same reasons. I have given up opportunities handed to me on a silver platter and refused to go after possibilities I have deeply desired in my heart.
All because of self-doubt, insecurities, feeling I am not good enough.
Imposter Syndrome Coaching
For a long time I did not have the words to describe what I feel. Despite such a solid track record of accomplishments, why would I still feel like I am lacking some proof of knowledge and skill.
It was a coincidence I came accross some articles about imposter syndrome. My curiosity and natural drive to research further took me on a journey. I read few books, I researched articles, I learnt as much as I could about imposter syndrome. I self-diagnosed. I self-reflected. I did the inner work. I understood the origin and the triggers for my thought patterns (and yes imposter feelings are sort of patterns of thought and behaviour that can be reprogrammed!).
And then I signed up for Imposter Syndrome Coach Practitioner course (to complement my original coaching studies). Of course one could intepret is as another attempt to fill the void of “I am not good enough”, as a genuine curiosity for something I deeply relate to, and a path that might allow me to help someone else along the way.
Clarify. Choose. Create.
When I came across Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin’s 3C framework for navigating imposter syndrome, something clicked. I first read it in her book, and then signed up for her course. Clarify, Choose, Create is simple yet powerful.
First, you get radically honest about the beliefs and patterns holding you back.
Then, you make conscious choices aligned with who you’re becoming.
And finally, you build a life that reflects your worth, not your fear. It’s not about fixing yourself.
It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about returning to the version of you that’s always been there, just under the doubt.
In case you too recognize yourself in my story, in case you too have been holding yourself back from growing, wanting more, doing more — maybe from asking for a promotion, maybe from launching that business you dream of, maybe from changing your life — then know that there is a way!
It all starts with self-awareness and knowledge!
One step at a time.
Read more about imposter syndrome: “Feeling Like an Imposter? You Are Not Alone!”
Sign up for FREE 4 week email journey to QUIET THE NOISE — silence your inner critic, learn about imposter syndrome, step into quiet confidence.
