You’re Not the Problem. Your Focus Is.

Change starts when your gaze moves from the past to the becoming.

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Most people try to change by running away from what they don’t want anymore. The stress, the confusion, the self-doubt.

Only that this kind of strategy for change is more of a survival mode. It gets you moving, but only for a moment. Your beliefs about yourself and your identity are so strong that they keep pulling you back to your comfort zone.

Sustainable change starts within. It starts with your beliefs, your vision, and the direction you intentionally choose. When you focus on what you want, everything shifts.

Toward clarity.

Toward confidence.

Toward an aligned version of you.

I want to tell you that if you’ve been stuck and unable to change, it’s not a character flaw. I am pretty sure it’s a direction issue. And not understanding how change works.

You have to point your energy toward where you want to go, not what you’re trying to escape.

The secret to change is holding a clear vision of who you want to become and understanding the why behind it. Only by creating a clear vision of what you want, why you want it, and who you need to become can you build a foundation for sustainable change.

The first step on the path to transformation is holding a clear vision of the version of you that feels aligned and capable.

Let’s back this thought up with a personal example. For the longest time, at least three decades, I tried to find a gym or an exercise routine that I could actually stick to. My old patterns kept showing up. I failed over and over again.

I have considered my relationship with physical exercise poor ever since gymnastics lessons in high school, when smaller (read: physically weaker) kids were at a disadvantage in the post-Soviet grading system. I have been a paying member of most gyms in town, yet nothing seemed to work.

Until the day I decided to focus on creating a vision of my best self. Everything shifted when my attention moved from forcing routines that didn’t stick to imagining the version of me that actually wanted to move, feel strong, and enjoy the process. I wrote it down. All of it.

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

From that point forward, I started practicing making decisions as HER. Exercise just happened to be part of her non-negotiable routine. Of course, finding the right type of exercise with a flexible schedule has been a huge incentive in this process. But thinking and acting like HER is what actually moved the needle. It’s what makes a difference when I hesitate.

I no longer see myself as that nerdish kid who couldn’t throw the ball as far as the norm required. I see myself as a strong, determined woman in her mid-40s, becoming the healthiest version of herself. Completing 114 reformer Pilates classes over the last 10 months is now just a fact and part of who I am becoming.

Long story short, start with your vision. Nurture it, revisit it, and live it. Take it one step at a time, one decision at a time, no matter how small. Before you know it, changes begin to happen, and you have become THAT PERSON.

Has this happened to you?