You Are Not Broken. Not Lazy. Just Focused on the Wrong Side of the Change Equation.

I get it, change can be hard.

For the longest time I was silently worried about becoming healthier. I have been fortunate enough not to have big weight challenges during my 44 years of life. I have bounced back from 3 pregnancies (attention, the last was twins!) quite easily and eaten tons of cookies for breakfast throughout the years (my soft spot).

Yet, I have never really been fit. Exercise habit has never come to me easily. Maybe cause I am more the “living in my head” kind of a girl, or maybe cause I had to fight for good grade at school (being the smallest and weakest did not serve me well at that time).

And I have tried it all. I have tried jogging (hated it). I have had gym memberships all over the city. I have tried exercising at home. Yet nothing really stuck with me.

Only yoga (which I love, but probably more as a spiritual practice than a physical activity). At times I would commit to morning yoga daily, then fall off the wagon. I could use here the excuse of 4 kids and 24/7 hospitality business that turns your schedules into a mess and keeps you tired.. but I won´t. Cause I know this was never the real problem.

I was silently obsessing about my bad habits and my poor physical condition. Once I even let myself to be coached about the “eating cookies for breakfast”- situation.. Imagine that! Oh and my last colesterol test gave the value matching exactly the reference value “lower than this", which was a bit of a wake-up call.Only now I realize that I had it wrong all along.

Instead of Running Towards What I Wanted, I Kept Running Away from What I Did Not Want

And this happens to most of us.Most people try to change by running away from what they no longer want.. the stress, the confusion, the self-doubt.

But this kind of change is pure survival mode. It gets you moving, but only for a moment. Your beliefs and identity are so strong that they end up pulling you right back to your comfort zone.

And if eating cookies and skipping gym have kept you well and safe for so long, your brain will want to keep you that way. The way out is to train your brain differently!

Real, sustainable change happens when you shift your focus toward what you do want.

Toward clarity.

Toward confidence.

Toward the version of you that feels aligned.

If you’ve been stuck and unable to change, it’s not a character flaw, I am pretty sure it’s a direction issue.. and not understanding how change works.

You have to point your energy toward where you want to go, not what you’re trying to escape. Only by creating a clear vision of what you want, why you want this, and who you need to become, will guarantee the base for sustainable change.

Holding Your Vision

Holding a vision of that capable aligned version of you is the first step on the journey of change. I say that cause I believe that cause I tested that.

In the beginning of 2025 I approached my wellness journey (and every other goal) differently. Instead of focusing on what I want to change, I really got clear about who I would like to become.

I created for myself a clear vision of the future version (the best version) of myself. I wrote down everything. Who she is, what She does, and what are Her main beliefs and principles in life. And I recorded that vision on my phone.

Apparently “the best version” of myself happens to be this happy healthy abundant lady who among other things exercises regularly.

During the last year I kept listening to my vision. When in doubt I kept thinking about Her. What whould She do? How would She act? And little by little few things stuck.

I am not yet fully Her and my vision is also changing and evolving ongoing, but there is no doubt that some significant changes have happened. Last year I took 127 pilates classes, I ate overnight oats for breakfast for more days than not, and my latest (still not sure what I make of it) habit of 4 months - not drinking alcohol (and I do love a fresh glass of wine..) has made a huge difference to my physical and mental health.

So here I am, I just made yesterday 44 years and 1 month, and I feel healthier and stronger than I have been for the most part of my life.

If I Can Change, You Can Do It Too

I know it is kind of a cliché to say this, but it really comes from a sincere place. I was so not healthy that my current state and determination still surprises me (and those around me) daily.

If you too are stuck with something you need to change, then start by thinking of what it is that you want to happen instead. And get clear about why this change matters. Then keep nurturing that vision. Keep training your brain that there is another possibility out there for you. Keep using that vision as the source of force and inspiration for your next steps, for the next moment of hesitation.

You can do it!I believe in you.

Love, C